Wednesday, August 11, 2010

One day at a time

It's been a minute since I've posted, eh? There are a few culprits that have stood between me and this blog. First, I moved from my darling 3-bedroom house, which I shared with two roommates, to an even more darling 1-bedroom apartment, which is all mine. After many years of living alone, I thought last year that maybe some roommates would be good for me, but it turns out that I'm just not that kind of girl.

I like my alone time. A LOT. For me to be happy, I need a lot of quiet, and I need a lot of control. I like order, and to have the order you want, you have to control your environment. My old house was great, and my roommates were amazing women; but, my new apartment is PERFECT. I'm unpacking so slowly because I'm savoring the experience of putting every single one of my things into its own special place, from which it will only be moved by me. I spend hours just staring at a box--thinking, in perfect and complete silence, about where I want to put the items inside it. It's been amazing.

Also, I've been sad. I found out on August 3rd that I have a stress fracture in my left tibia, and I was so heartbroken. I cried. I tried to be strong. I cried again. I really wanted to hold it together, but every morning when I got out of bed and took my first steps, I remembered the pain that I had forgotten while I slept. That first experience of pain would send me right back into bed where I could pretend it wasn't happening.

The most depressing part about it? I'm smarter than this "wallow in self-misery" nonsense. I know that this isn't the end of my training. I know this means I have to work harder and be stronger than I was before. I know that if I stick to an aggressive cross-training schedule then I won't miss a beat, and I'll still be able to run my marathon in October. I know that this is a blessing in disguise because it gives me an opportunity to focus on my swimming and biking and thus be in better shape for the triathlons in my future.

It's just so hard to think positively when it hurts to walk, you know?

I'm going to get through this, though, and I'm going to get through it by focusing on what I can do now and what I will do in the future. Can's and will's, baby. Can's and will's.

I can do this. I can be strong. I can cross-train every day. I can focus on my swimming and biking. I will get stronger. I will be better. I will run my marathon in October.

I'm a girl who needs to have goals. More importantly, I'm a girl who needs to have detailed training plans, mapping out the best way to achieve those goals (please note my obsessive need for control, discussed in paragraph 2). I've spent the last few days formulating a cross-training plan that will not only keep me strong while I'm off my feet during the next 4-5 weeks, but will also prepare me for--drumroll please--Ironman 70.3 Augusta!

I know that I may not be able to do this. Stress fractures are finicky, and I know that I may not be able to run by the half-Ironman, which is September 26. However, I'm going to try my damndest. The biking is the only thing holding me back right now--56 miles is a lot for me--but this injury should give me a chance to get comfortable with that distance.

I've just got to take it all one day at a time.


  1. Just do your best, that's all you can do!

    I'm also a control-freak. I'm both trying to let it go and accept that it's part of me. I guess I'll always be a controlling, but some things just aren't controllable and I need to let go of those. :)

    Hope the stress fracture heals soon!

  2. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Good luck!

  3. Congrats on your new place and I'm glad you are enjoying it! I'm so sorry to hear about your stress fracture. I really hope it heals well. Keep working hard on crosstraining. I know you will do great!